How to have a flat belly in 30 seconds or less!

1. When train is near, lie down on your back with knees bent, feet outside the tracks, and head resting comfortably on the rail. Make sure your body is perpendicular to the tracks.

2. Activate your core by pulling in your navel and keeping your back pressed down. Then cross your arms over your chest, lower your chin to your chest, and curl up so that the backs of your shoulders are off the track. Hold for 5 seconds, then slowly lower your head and shoulders.

3. Repeat until train arrives. [Source]

If only it was that easy!

Remember when I made this goal and promise to myself a few months ago? Well, I'm sad and unsurprised to say that I haven't really followed any of them.

At all.

So I'm still fat and squishy, lumpy and dumpy. My little buddha belly is still as round as ever and the cellulite has set up camp and is in for the long haul.

Now MF is telling people he's getting hitched this August. The problem is that I'm fat and because I'm a vain little monkey, I MUST tone up so that I look like a lean, mean, dancing machine . Therefore, I need to lose 15-20 pounds in less than 2 months.

Suffice to say, I need help. Major help.

So tell me all your weight loss tips, tricks and advice. Especially how to get a flat belly & toned arms and legs quickly, easily, & painlessly (I can wish can't I?).

Please, keep in mind that I LOVE junk food and therefore would be VERY hard for me to switch diets. And I hate exercise. All of them.

With that in mind, hit me with all you got.