Fathers

Walking home yesterday, Mother Dear and I saw a beautiful and sadly rare sight. A middle aged man was pushing his young toddler in his stroller while carrying his little infant strapped to his back on a sling. Just him and his babies enjoying a nice, evening stroll around the neighbourhood. My mom and I looked at each other and smiled at the scene. Then she actually walked up to him and said 'you are a great father'. The poor man just stared at us not knowing where that came from and smiled as he kept walking.

I turned to her and said 'why did you say that!'? She answered 'people who are doing good things should be told and praised. It makes them feel good to be appreciated & recognized. Then that might motivate them to keep at it'.

She is right.

And it got me thinking. All I've ever seen in my community is the women lugging around the kids everywhere. I have never in my life seen a Somali man pushing a stroller, having an outing with a young child never mind doing something as emasculating as carrying his baby on his back. Why is being a dad considered contributing some genes & bringing the bread home? Why is the raising of children culturally relegated to the women. A child needs both the influences, teachings, love, attention, & care from both the mother and father. A mother can be a great mother & succeed in soley taking care of her brood, but there will always be something missing. A mother, no matter how much she tries, cannot replace a father (and vise versa). So it's incredibly sad to me to see such indifference and hostility toward the responsiblity of being a dad in our community.

There are few things in life more beautiful than men with babies. But what would be much more beautiful is if this scene was...

as normal and common place as this:

I know that there are many, many attentive, loving, involved fathers in our community and to those, I wish you a belated & fabulous Father's day. As we all know,

It is much easier to become a dad, than be one.