Thoughts

A college friend invited me and mutual friends to her 'housewarming' party last night...the quotations are there because technically it's not her house. She's renting a basement suite and just wanted an excuse for a gathering with friends for food, games, gossip and fun.

I'm not complaining though!

She outdid herself and cooked us a yummy meal of rice, fried chicken wings and chicken thighs smothered in buttermilk and mushrooms, corn on the cob, fruit platter, salad, garlic bread, topped off with a delicious, creamy homemade chocolate cake....which I didn't get to taste a bite of because I was so full from the meal. Boo-hoo!

We talked and ate and laughed...and it felt soooo good. To be with friends and relax and just enjoy their company. I don't recall what we talked about but I do remember the laughter, happiness, and teasing - stuff memories are made of. This might sound contradicting but I'm shy but very social...meaning it's hard for me to meet people or talk in a group setting but with those I know and am comfortable with...I love going to parties, gatherings, adventures, having fun and spending a few hours out of the stuffy house. I'm very spontaneous and would agree to basically anything in a second. I'm always the one bugging my friends to go places with me (hate going anywhere alone but slowly becoming used to it)....too bad most of my friends are homebodies.

Two of my friends are married and just bought houses, another two are getting married next year, one is in a committed relationship which looks to be heading for marriage. I guess since we had a lot of experiences together (high school, graduation, college, working, etc.) I assumed that life would go on the same and we'd be all married, have children, and buy our homes in similar time line...together. That was of course when I was younger but there is still a part of me that wishes we'd share our life journeys. Sometimes, I feel a little left out and I wish my doofus of a prince would just hurry up and land on my door...yet at the same time....I hope that I never rush into marriage or any important, life changing decision...just because of what heeblaayo and hebel are doing. I hope that I do it for the right reasons and at the right time with the right person.

At this point...I can honestly say I want to get married to have my own place and more control over my life...which sounds sad and kinda lame. But I know myself and I know that at this point in my life I'm not ready and so I'm not feeling any kind of pressure outside myself. And the pressure I'm putting on myself is stupid...it's the same with everything...I just don't want to be the last one. I don't know...but I have a feeling that the high divorce rate in the Somali community can be attributed to people rushing into marriage for the wrong reasons and thus unable to handle a responsibility that they did not prepare for. And maybe more people need to honeslty examine their reasons for making a particular decision and only commit to something they are absolutely sure they are making the right decision in.

After all, regret is a horrible thing to live with.