That time of the year again

I woke up today with a spring in my step. For once both my arms haven’t lost their feeling and I didn’t wake up groaning with the pain of a kink in my back. Yeayyyy! I jumped up, quickly brushed my teeth and hurried back to my room. I heaved my suitcase from under the bed, searched awhile, until I came across a forgotten pair of white stretchable jeans. I use to wear it around the house or under my skirt a year or so back. I forgot about it and I wondered if I could still wear it, if it would still fit me like before - tightly, like a second skin. I loved those jeans. I kicked off my PJ bottoms, sat on the bed and said a little prayer before I slowly slipped them on, prolonging the inevitable. They past my calves, thighs, bottom and stomach. *huge grin plastered on face* Yes! I sucked in my stomach as I snapped the buttons. My skinny jeans fit! The feeling was better than coming across a hundred dollar bill in the street, stealing your friends last chocolate bar, getting an A on a paper. I was ecstatic…that is until I moved toward the mirror and noticed with dismay and a broken heart that I buttoned the wrong buttons. I tried not to panic as I redid the buttons…but alas this time the jeans fit everywhere but my waist. It refused to be shut even when I sucked in. I wonder if it only me but when I gain weight it collects solely on my waist. I would be normally sized throughout my body but have this protruding stomach. Shidh! Did I mention I hate exercise, so I find clothes that would hide this because I’m too damn lazy to get rid of it. I once tried sit ups for two whole exhausting days, the third day my cramps hurt like hell each time that I bent down or twisted my body…so I said buh-bye! Wish I had a magic wand or a bigger will power….guess I’m going to drown my sorrow in shopping or ice cream again. Poor me!