Scary questions

I feel like a zombie. Absolutely no interest in anything. Why do I long for more? I’m not content where I am but I’m not working towards improving it which is real odd. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time and place. I don’t feel right inside my skin. Do I like moaning and complaining? What interest does it possibly serve me? So, why aren’t I doing something worthwhile with my time? Why do I feel like a dead woman walking?

Why are colours muted and sounds muffled? How can I kick my bad habits and be what I dream of? How do I realize my goals and turn my life around? Why is living so hard? Where did all this pressure come from and where did my motivation and drive go? Why have I lost interest in everything? WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!

I dream of the impossible
which makes me lose sight of the possible
stupid, destructive cycle