Struggle

I remember hearing people (Christians) say 'God spoke to me' and I always thought they might be a little nuts - hearing voices is a sign of mental illness not spiritual enlightenment after all. However, I must say that lately (actually for a while now but more so recently) I think that Allah is speaking to me. Not in the sense that I hear voices in my head but through the many signs he sends me that are waaaaaay beyond coincidence.

Example 1: I'll commit a sin and in a short time I'll hear a lecture about that particular sin, a friend will call me up and tell me about something she heard relating to it, I would randomly go on an Islamic site and see that particular sin being discussed etc. All, often, within hours or 1-2 days.

Example 2: I realize that there is something about me that I don't like and that I would like to change and so many opportunities open up that show me how without me even looking for it.

This happened time and time again. Sometimes it's a little frigntening. But I'm always grateful although I don't change my ways (istaqfuruallah --- it's hard to change old habits but I'm trying). And I thank Allah for keeping my sins hidden -- between only me and Him.

No wonder it is said that the greatest Jihad is the one against one's nafs (soul). I pray that I (all of us) find the strength to resist Shaytan's whispers.