The Multiple Life (polygamy)

When most people hear the word polygamy, what comes straight to mind is the legal and sexual union of a man with two or more women at the same time. However polygamy is a word that covers both polygyny (having more than one wife) and polyandry (having more than one husband). Although the most prevailing traditional form is for polygyny for exist in most societies,[particularly Africa, Asia, and the middle east], there have been growing reports of the practice of polyandry in such remote places are Nepal, Tibet, and South India . These types of marriages are not recognized by law but are however approved and encouraged by their respective societies.

Most people have a hard time getting their heads around the idea of polyandry. It is an alien concept to them. Questions arise such as: How will the power structure function between multiple men? How will the identities of children from different fathers be determined? Who will have more rights in the marriage? And what is the need for this type of union? Well, although polyandry is not a popular method of marriage for people it does seem to serve a basic need of survival for the those that choose to practice it. In those societies, the oldest male son inherits his fathers land upon marriage. Lets say that a man has four sons, but only 3 acres of land. Those three acres cannot be divided by four sons, whose own sons will further divide it amongst each other. If this was to happen, within 3 generations or more, there would not be land enough to build suitable shelter let alone farm food. So to deal with problem of scarce farming land and the high numbers of males compared to females (the female population are alarmingly decreasing in those societies due to infanticide and abandonment of baby girls by parents who place high value on male heirs), it has come to pass that the oldest son marries first and subsequently inherits his father’s land. Then when his other brothers reach puberty they also are married to his wife and enjoy marital relations with her around a set schedule. All of the children from that union belong to the eldest brother and carry his name. This ensures that the land is kept within the family and does not get divided with each son having his own family and thus wanting his own plot.

Now lets sail across the ocean and come to North America. In this country any type of polygamy is strictly forbidden and can land a person in jail or with a hefty fine. However, I find it ironic that having more than one girlfriend/boyfriend or a wife and a mistress at the side is not against the law or even socially condemned. Is there any difference really except that one is legal? At least the children born into a polygamous marriage are legitimate and the wives receive equal rights (in an ideal situation). It goes without saying that I am not against polygamy. I consider it very noble when done for the right reasons. When one marries a widow, divorcee, or spinster and gets the approval of his first wife, I think its a honourable thing to do. That kind of man is special because he is actually doing something good for society's outcasts (protest all you want, but these kinds of women are shunned and insulted for being in that ‘unfortunate’ condition in many places…I don’t like it..but that's the sad reality).

However, what sickens me to the core of my being, though, is to marry virgins for ones own insatiable sexual needs. The first wife designated to bear children and continue the family line, while the second to enjoy, a ‘luxury’ wife, a legal mistress. Unfortunately that's whats happening, people are not following the rules set for the conditions of obtaining a second wife and more often than not family problems, jealousy, and hardships arise.

A woman’s love and emotions is not something to take lightly or mess up with. Its just plain cruel and evil.