Losings Wisdom

As I lay on my bed today, stretching like a well satisfied, sated cat, I started playing with my tongue when it slipped and touched the missing space along my upper left jaw. Memories flooded in of a time where pain was a constant companion and death seemed like a possibible alternative. I remember not being able to sleep for days, tossing an turning, the pounding of my tender gums in perfect synch with the creaking of the bed late at night.

On that memorable day, Nov 05, day I went to the dentist to get my widom tooth pulled. It took me more than 6 months to gather enough courage to make the decision. I hate dentists and their like with a deep and well honed passion. I have had a very bad experience with one when I was a young girl that has traumaticed me for life. But the pain of the tooth pulled me to the floor begging God and crying like a baby. It was truly excrutiating. The dentist chasticed me when he came back with the result of the X rays. He informed me frowning slightly with pursed lips that it had ingrown and was digging into my gums and if I didn’t do something about it….might develop an infection and further cause me unnecessary pain. All I could do at that point short of falling to the floor in convulsoins was nod and mumble because the whole left side of my face from my neck to my hairline and all the way to the back of my left ear were steadly pounding like a drum and swollen to the touch. At this point I would have eagerly cut off a part of my face if he suggested, to gain even some sort of temporary relief from the onslaught. I never thought that a black girl coud turn so red, If I wasn’t groaning in pain I would’ve took time to admire my rather fetching pink blush.

I lay down on the chair and watched warily as he told me to open my mouth wide. I asked my mother to come with me that day and she was holding my hand. She knew how terrified I was, and I needed all the support I could get. Then suddenly ,without warning, he pushes a long, though thin needle towards my face, and I panic and squeeze my mothers hand hard enough for her to wince as I forcibly shift my head away. I forgot about the numbing-needle part. Needles. Oh man. A dentist’s most prized torture device. I’m perfectly sure that they have developed another method of achieving the desired numbness…namely by a special numbing cream. I know it exists, I saw it applied to my little brother’s hand in a hospital when they were inserting a needle in his vein. However, its a well known fact that all dentists are sadists and would not gain pleasure if their helpless patient is not screaming in agony. I took the lessor of the two evils and allowed him to pierce me with the needle, 3 times. Although I wasn't feeling any sort of pain from that point and the whole side of my face was numb to my pinches and their probings I demanded that they give me another dose. I was that scared. He gave in and told me that I have had 3 times the normal dose and if I proceeded to complain again would not treat me but would refer me to a specialist who would put me under a general anesthetic and perform surgery. I shook my head bravely and told him to go on. He asked me not to jump around, grab him, shake the chair, and let him do his ‘job’. He was losing patience with me fast. I eventually lowered my gaze in defeat and nodded my agreement. The rest of what happened is a blur. All I remember is the pressure in my mouth, his soft breaths brushing against my face, and my mom peering at me worriedly. From the red marks on her hands, I guess it wasn’t all that good. The rest of the day my face was too numb to feel any of the pain or aches they warned me about. A painfully long, long, day.

I miss my wisdom tooth. I haven’t as of yet totally extracted ‘wisdom’ from the other three, but losing that one has made me a little sad. I have kept it as a memory though, wrapped around tissues and placed inside a small white box. I haven’t yet put in under my pillow; I don’t want to be disappointed in the morning.